Discrimination

Discrimination and prejudice are caused by misguidance and a lack of education. People that discriminate aren't necessarily wrong, they've just been misinformed. Ignorance isn't a characteristic that has to be lived with; it can be changed and evolved into wisdom and acceptance, with a broad open mind.  

Creation

We don't create ourselves, our body; but in time, people and experiences create who we are and will become. People lie. They create trust issues. People give insults. They create self esteem issues. People use violence and commit crimes. They create fear. We are only born with two fears, falling and loud noises. The rest of them are created.

Equality

Everyone is born equal, but somewhere down the road the people we've met and the experiences we've had shape us into different people. We are no longer equal. Some have vicious personalities, and some are the complete opposite. They will do everything in their power to make others happy. As personalities go, no we're not equal. As citizens and humans, we deserve the same rights and opportunities. No one is better than anyone else, despite their attitude and outlook on life. People can't help who they have become but they can change, if they get help and fight for what they want.

What now?

What happens when you don't even know how you feel anymore? When you've gone through too much and have tried too hard to hold yourself together that you've gotten too tired and let yourself break? What happens when you lose who you are and don't know who are what matters anymore? When you don't know reality from your imagination? When you want nothing more than to tell someone that you need help but don't know how the hell to say it? When you love someone so much that you would do anything and everything you could to keep them in your life, but they don't even realize or appreciate your love? When you're falling apart while trying to keep it together?

Comparisons

No matter how many times a person says they know exactly what you're going through and how you're feeling; it isn't true. They might have gone through a similar situation, but every single person handles things differently. What might be normal for one person might be tragic for someone else. Nobody knows another person's emotional or mental state. They just assume they know their situation and compare themselves to the other person, when in reality they have no idea what they're comparing. They might know the way that person is feeling to an extent, but no one will ever know exactly how another feels or what they're going through.

Just, maybe

Maybe life doesn't happen the way we intend it to. Maybe we have the wrong idea about what life is supposed to be. We imagine that we're going to have the perfect job, relationship, family, the perfect everything; but that's never the case for anyone. No matter who we are or what life has given us, no one is ever satisfied with what they have. As humans we always wish for better. We want other people's lives and everything we don't have. I'll never know why. Maybe something happened to us when we were younger. Maybe we have a mental illness or an issue with trust, a fear that we can't overcome, or a grudge we can't let go of, or a goal we refuse not to meet. No matter what the situation is, we always want better for ourselves. Even if we know we don't deserve it.

People are strange

My obsession with horror movies and novels began at an early age. From the first time I saw a scary movie I was addicted. I began watching them constantly and rarely watched anything else. I didn’t start reading books that involved murder and suspense until I entered middle school.

I read small books about ghosts and haunted places when I was elementary school, but my interest grew as I got older. My favorite author of all time is Stephen King. Tim Burton is my favorite director, and Johnny Depp is my favorite actor. They are all geniuses and I have complete, utter respect for them.

            I am fascinated by individuals who have experience in being absolutely creepy and weird. I admire people who have no care in the world about what others think about them, and I always will. I love how some people are completely open with any idea and have such a creative and unbiased look on life. Their capability to pull off, literally anything is outrageously respectable to me and I admire anyone who can do what they feel and not even think twice about what others might say or imagine.

            The genre of horror, to me is brilliant. The ability to create disturbing, yet realistic situations is by far one of the best qualities or talent an individual can possess, in my opinion. I spend every moment I can; reading or viewing anything related to murder, abduction, or the paranormal. I find everything about horror fascinating and I adore discovering new stories or real life cases that involve gruesome and violent situations.

            I find that testing my power to withstand terror, somehow adds to my character. Being able to face everyday fears, such as darkness, monsters, and killers helps a person grow into a strong and compelling being. Seeing things, such as torture and murder, in movies; I believe helps a person prepare for things that might happen in everyday life and also helps them to be more understanding of other creativity and art, even if it is horrendous. I admire the fact that there are people out there in the world who have an odd way of viewing things and creating images for others to see.

            I have always had respect for the socially awkward. I honestly believe that people that might seem a little quirky bring life to this world with new, macabre; eerie ideas. My love for horror is continuing to grow, stupendously. I can’t get enough of the terrifying truth that this world, majority of the time keeps secret. Learning new, lurid things about people and places on this earth enhances my curiosity and keeps it augmenting.

            This world needs eccentric people. After all “everyone is a little odd, some are just better at hiding it.” I wish that everyone were just a little more optimistic and accepting. Even the seemingly open people have something that they positively can’t handle; therefore everyone has room for improvement. Horror helps people grasp atrocious things and helps them to be more receptive. 

           

             

Masquerade

I just want to be perfect. Is that too much to ask?

So many people, every day a different mask.

Spinning in circles, music so loud.

So many people, I’m just stuck in the crowd.

My life has been a hidden disaster.

My heart is pounding, faster and faster.

Stare in the mirror, I can’t see my face.

Just a blurry silhouette, an empty space.

It’s so dark in here. So cold, I tremble in fear.

Everyone’s been defaced, looks like their body’s been traced.

So many masks, so much kept secret. Everyone’s got one, but can they keep it?

Our life has been a hidden disaster. Our heads are spinning faster and faster.

Try to escape like we’re in a race, but you can’t find yourself if you have no face.

In-between

There will be a time when you feel life is going all wrong.

The road to recovery is far too long.

People don’t change or get better.

All that does is the weather.

So don’t try to. You won’t make it, but you’ll fake it.

There will be someone to disapprove of everything you do.

All your goals, all your plans are going to fall through.

You have to make bigger messes to make others seem clean.

Your life is simple, hectic, and all of the things in-between.

Drowning

Such a pretty, lovely face; never thought she’d be replaced.

Bitterness is all that she can taste.

Too numb to feel the tears run down her face.

She’s broken, feels like she’s choking.

Can’t breathe, can’t hear a single word he’s spoken.

Now there’s nobody around, her clothes are on the ground.

She wonders if she’ll ever be found.

She’s taken all that she can take.

Nothing could fix her heart ache.

Body’s so cold. Nobody to hold.

                                                       Eyes closed, face blank as the tip of her nose sank

Quite Contrary

Sometimes what you see when you’re young doesn’t always process in your mind. You don’t make things out to be the way they actually are.  Come to think of it, that’s the way you’ll see the world for the rest of your life.

                When my memory began, or so it seems; I was so shy. So small and scared, terrified of everyone and everything that existed in what I thought was life. Words rarely came out of my mouth unless I was speaking to a relative or someone who miraculously decided to be my friend.

 How I even had friends at all still confuses me. I don’t remember being the kind of person kids would touch fingers with during ‘heads up, seven up.’ In fact I wasn’t. Making friends just sort of happened. Not a lot, but it still happened.

I changed friends frequently. I couldn’t figure out who I wanted to be like, or who I wanted to be associated with. At a very young age, I knew that I was different, that I was meant to switch partners. I wasn’t ever the type to have anyone be loyal to.

I changed cliques and personalities all of the time. I don’t know if it was on purpose or not. Who I was around determined who I was going to be for that moment. No, I didn’t have split personalities. I just wanted to be liked. I wanted to be accepted.

I never have been who others think I am, or maybe quite the opposite. Maybe it’s I who isn’t quite sure of who I’ve become or used to be. It’s actually pretty accurate to say that I, myself have no idea who I am or ever have been. I’ve been lost for a long while now, and I’ll probably never be discovered. 

Sanity and Insanity

Sanity is behaving in a rational or acceptable manner. Sometimes trying to be completely sane can drive you insane. Trying to keep from going insane can cause someone to lose grip of reality, leaving his or her thought process somewhat of a dream instead of realizing what’s actually happening. Once a person loses sight of who he or she is they lose every ambition to be who they are, because they’ve become lost.

            Doing what majority of the world wants and expects is insane. If a person does what they feel in their heart is right and stays true to who they are, it will be healthier for their mental state than worrying about what others are going to think of them. The mind can be abusive, causing irrational behavior. When a person feels trapped from the opinions and criticism of others, they do seemingly crazy things to escape everyone else.

            When a person is scared to be who they are and settle with doing what is acceptable in society, it doesn’t help them. It causes his or her thoughts to become someone else’s, rather than their own. Everyone is unique. Nobody’s thoughts should be exactly the same and it’s delusional for someone to think that one person should think the same as them.

            Insanity is known as doing things that aren’t completely acceptable. Just because someone’s thought process is a little different than most, doesn’t make them wrong. In fact it’s probably better to be insane because they’re doing what they think is acceptable, not everyone else’s definition.

            Memories that stress the mind cause insanity. Memories never really leave one’s mind. When everything loved and treasured is lost, so is the mind that thought so highly of those things. Sanity is not a decision that one makes. No one can simply get better and miraculously find themselves again.

            Assuming that your state of mind will always be present is mad. Not a single human on earth can remain balanced throughout life.  Events that happen alter the mind. They cause thinking to become difficult. Doing the right thing becomes a battle with doing what is better for your own self, instead of society.

When a person laughs while wanting to cry or cries while wanting to laugh, it doesn't make one more sane than the other. Just because someone has the ability to hide an emotion that’s there doesn't mean they don’t have it. Hiding is not any more sane than showing. Some might even say it’s even more insane to act like something you’re not.

Regaining rationality takes irrationality. A person’s ideas, words, and actions can change the world. They can make people think that maybe what they thought was right before was completely wrong. Sometimes coloring outside of the lines is the only thing that will help a person to find their true self that they once lost, even though his or her actions might seem entirely bizarre to others around them.

            No matter what, the voices within one’s head should be listened to. The outcome might not be beneficial to all, or even themselves; but it will change a life positively. Even if it is just one life.